while the parents are away...

... the kids will play! Caleb and I have been on our own since last Saturday. Mom and Dad have been on a much needed, much overdue vacation. They went on a cruise! Yes, I am jealous, but also so happy they were able to have a beautiful ten days away from everything. Me and the brother have done extremely well. He has had practice everyday, along with school work and just life stuff. It's been challenging trying to coordinate both of our busy lives together but it's been so good spending such a long time just the two of us. He really is the coolest brother a sister could ask for. It's been a good learning experience. Just three more days till the family is united!

the battle that never ends.

Do you know that extremely catchy, annoying song: "This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend..." and you continue to sing and sing these words over and over again? Well, I find that the battle I have with food in my life could be the new lyrics to this song. I try, I fail, I get discouraged, I try again. Over and Over again. I am so very tired of this cycle. I am not quite sure what it's going to take to get my life pointed in the right direction; for it to be a STRAIGHT path instead of the CIRCULAR one. I'm not going to give up, I am just so ready to be done with it.

peyton shawn is ten.

Peyton is the Big Double Digit one-O!

Today was such a good time. Me and the family headed out to Mattoon, IL to celebrate my little cousin Peyton's birthday! We had a lot of fun. Aunt Jodie made delicious food and banana cake!! mmhhmm! Peyton is so stinking cute and sweet. He has such a gentle spirit. And although he is only ten, he is freaking hilarious! One of them dry humor kiddos. I always enjoy spending time with him and my family. They are so cool.

(There weren't drugs at the party... he is just very tired!)

girls night out.

Tonight was wonderful. I was able to treat my mom to a night out on the town. All this week I have been giving my mom little cards just telling her things I love about her. Each day the card came in a little baggy.. they were color coordinated.. I was pretty proud of myself! :) Tonight was the big night. Gave my mom the card telling her what to wear and a Starbucks card. At Starbucks, I gave her a gift that explained the rest of the night. We went to the Fox Theater to see Celtic Thunder! She was COMPLETELY surprised which made it all the more worth it. These men have the most amazing, pure, beautiful voices! She loves them. It was very fun spending time with her. Sometimes I forget just how special she is; so glad she is mine.

newbie.

Rob Bell just released his newest book "Jesus Wants to Save Christians" and I am thrilled to begin reading it! My youth pastor recommended it to me as a challenging, good read. Velvet Elvis is Rob Bell's other book I have read. It too could definitely fit the description of "challenging and good". Rob Bell has such a talent and gift with teaching through words. I am very excited to find what he has to say and what I will learn about God and life through this book. I also just want to be cool and have more books in my blog "Library"!

beloved.

"I could more easily contain Niagra Falls in a teacup than I can comprehend the wild, uncontainable love of God." Brennan Manning

I finally finished reading "The Raggamuffin Gospel". It is probably one of the greatest books I have ever read. I have learned so much about myself and about God's love and grace through its pages. The quote above is one of my favorites from the book mostly because it just messes with me. God is so entirely more than what I have created Him to be! There is so much freedom in discovering that I can do absolutely nothing to earn God's love; nor will I ever be able to comprehend it in its completeness. The ultimate lessons I am taking with me from Brennan's book are God LOVES me just as I am. I can do absolutely NOTHING to make Him love me less or more. With that knowledge comes the freedom to be myself. I have nothing to fear because I have nothing to lose. Letting go of caring what people think of me and letting go of my fear of failing will take time and patience and persistence BUT God will love me just the same.. which is A LOT.. more than I can comprehend!

fall.

Today was a gorgeous day. I love the fall! I had the opportunity to just sit outside today for hours. All I did was read and just watch the leaves fall from the trees. It was very relaxing and beautiful. Perfect start to my week.

time for r&r

It's finally Friday! This has been a pretty good week at school. Not too much homework really which was nice because I definitely did not have the energy to do it. Tonight, I'm just relaxing. Hoping to watch a good movie and then head to bed early! I have a fun day planned tomorrow hanging out with my friends and going to a birthday party. Then Sunday will be another day of beautiful nothing! So excited to get rested.

Grey's Anatomy.

Grey's Anatomy's new season premier was tonight. I watched it and loved it of course! This is one of "my shows". So excited for the rest of the season!

rumbling ideas.

So I have this idea. I want to make a t-shirt with a logo that symbolizes "love outside of the box". I have the design thought out and on paper; I just need to put it on a shirt! My plan is to take the t-shirt to churches in my community and area, any large businesses or chains, and maybe even eventually concerts. With the money raised, we will put it towards ministries in the community such as Love With Action and T.E.A.M. This idea got me thinking about how I could use this for my career as well. What I feel God has called me to is a life of ministy. As I have been told over and over, that does not mean a pastor or missionary alone, but some one who's purpose in their career is to show who God is (therefore can be done anywhere!). Spinning off this idea, I would like to create a place for those in need. A place that will provide training, shelter, provision of needs financially.. mentally.. emotionally.. spiritually.. food.. whatever. I'd like Love outside of the Box to become this with the soul purpose of showing God's love to the people the ministry is able to touch.

I have seen and heard of small things that have made a difference. Maybe God is wanting to use this t-shirt idea for something greater than I could even imagine. Can't wait!

Home.

Caleb's Tournament didn't end with a bang, but the boys played hard and there will be more and more and more games to play. After the game ended at 8:30, the family and I had some breakfast at Bob Evans and headed to down town Chicago. Mom and I walked around Navy Pier and then went to dinner at Giordanos.


I rested up on the way home with my full tummy. Me and the brother watched Bourne Ultimatum and now we are home. I feel like I really didn't get an actual weekend. Hopefully this week won't be to overwhelming.

We always have so much fun in Chicago!

In Chicago

I was given motivation to to update my blog. Don't mean to be slacking. It's just been a busy good stressful week with work and school. Just trying to keep up with my AP English class and all of the material we are studying. It's a weird feeling to actually enjoy school even when it's hard! My family and I had the opportunity to get away this weekend. My brother has a soccer tournament, so we are once again in Chicago. He had two games today, won one lost one. We ended the day at Red Robbin with the entire team. It was a good time. We have to head to bed pretty soon since we are getting up at FIVE O'CLOCK tomorrow morning!!! I guess I'll just have to get my rest on the way home tomorrow. When I return, be ready to be overloaded with posts cause I will defnitely start doing better with updates!

Hope

Understanding what one believes and why they believe it is something very important. Finding why I believe in Jesus has been my challenge. I have been going to church ever since I was born. It has been easy for me to live as a Christian because I've always been in Christian schools and had Christian friends and family. I became serious about my relationship with God when I began middle school. Now that I am eighteen and time is shortening till the day I leave all I've known, this idea of knowing why I believe has become very important. After struggling with this for quite some time now, God has been faithful to help bring me to the center of it all. Before, I never really wanted to be put into situations that would dare me to step up and give my reasons or testimony for belief in God.

I was nervous that I wouldn't have the right words to say and that my personal story about God would mean nothing to them. Bottom line, I didn't understand why people needed God or would want Him. I knew I did only because I hadn't ever been with out the knowledge of Him. I kept viewing God as Christianity. It would be just another religion for people to consider. I was going to have to "sell" it to them... explaining about peace, love, grace, forgiveness... all of the things that I have been learning in my faith. Although I understood it's a relationship with me and God, I never believed other people would view it that way.

These past few weeks have been hard trying to wrestle with all of this. I felt that because I have been growing and learning so many other things with God that I shouldn't be struggling with something so core and simple. But I have been and it's been scary and hard. But now I understand why I want Jesus! I need Him and want Him because I'm hopeless with out him. Jesus is HOPE. There are so many people muddling through life trying to find meaning and purpose in a broken, hurtful world. God restored me. He made me whole again. Now I know why people need God, because they need Hope. They need that completion that He provides to the lurking emptiness. I get it now. Hope is why I tell people about Jesus, about a relationship with God, about why following Christ is everything and how he does provide peace, love, grace, forgiveness and fullness of life. This is why I believe. This is what I stand for. Jesus is HOPE. Everyone needs Hope.

entering the political battle

Today I became a true American.. I registered to vote! I am so happy to have the opportunity to vote in this year's PRESIDENTIAL election. Lately, I've been challenged not to just vote a particular way with my only reason being that's how Christians vote or that's how my parents vote. I want to do my research and find what I believe would be best for America and vote according to those convictions. So I'm going to take this privelege seriously and I'm going to do my homework because I think it matters.

sunday morning church

I had church this morning at one of my favorite places... Starbucks! It was a very nice, refreshing start to my day. I really enjoy going there Sunday mornings to have Jesus time and of course drink my light white mocha frap with no whip. I am almost finished with my book Wide Awake and will hopefully be moving on to The Raggamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning recommended to me by the greatest Youth Pastor! The more I think about it... I realize that Starbucks and books definitely help my world go round.

Brother's Soccer Begins!

Adorable Brother Caleb

Representing that number 3

Best Friend Tony and Caleb

Soccer is the family hobby. I always look forward to Caleb's seasons, although I haven't been to many games in the past. This year will be different! He is one awesome player. I am so proud of him and his smooth, studly skills! Caleb mostly plays fullback, for all those who are not soccer savy, that is defense. Today was Caleb's first two games with his new team. His coach is wonderful. He played professionally for twelve years in Germany and his coaching style is one that is going to be very helpful and challenging for Caleb. It is going to be a great few seasons to come! Two more games tomorrow. Wish us luck!

love

Keep company with him and learn a life of love.

Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but

extravagant. he didn't love in order to get something

from us but to give everything of Himself to us.

love like that.

Ephesians 5:1b-2

Day with Heather

I had so much fun yesterday morning with my great friend, Heather. For my birthday, She took me out for breakfast at Bread Co. and then surprised me by taking me to the Botanical Gardens. We walked around the gardens and talked. I had fun being with her and everything was very beautiful. We both, of course, forgot our cameras so I had to be a little creative with the picture!